Who Needs Moloch? We've Got Britney Spears!

93, 93/93

Ah, Britney! Madame you so remind me of my dear ex-wife, Rose Kelly. The very sight of you brings back a flood of bittersweet memories. How well I am reminded of the poor dear kicking back shots whilst pregnant with our dear firstborn (requiescat in pace.) I get a bit misty-eyed just thinking about it. It was only last month you were seen in a Vegas nightclub kicking back a little liquid Spirit before you announced your already nascent condition.

Still, you Britney -- not to be outdone by a mere amateur such as Rose, live much more dangerously. Again and again, you place young Sean Preston upon the sacrificial stone, awaiting the final go-ahead from Yahweh. Still, it appears that even Isaac got a better break than Sean is about to receive.

Moloch 1: Qabalah 0
Your recent, much-publicized renunciation of the Qabalah was pure Hollywood. Rude, over-the-top and highly unecessary. I can only say that your recantation of a very magickal tradition is the best thing to happen to the Qabalah since I put out Liber 777! My suspicion is that you were paid to quit; after all, what religion would want to take credit for the farce your life has become?

On your website you state: "My baby is my religion." I suppose I am one of the few who truly understood your true meaning, as this can only mean one thing -- you have merely reverted back to the ancient worship of Moloch, fully intent on sacrificing your firstborn son in order to maintain your cash flow, damn the cost!

The 9 Lives of Baby Federline
One is uncertain as to whether or not you think you may have instead birthed a kitten, which would no doubt be responsible for the mistaken impression that the child had 9 lives. Even so, it doesn't take a Qabalist to perform complicated gematriacal calculations to recognize that Sean's down to about 5 lives -- and the poor chap is only 8 months old ... have a heart woman!


Life #1: Sean takes a spin in the car sitting on B's lap; (BBC)

Life #2: Sean falls out of his high-chair, and fractures his skull; (Socialite Life)

Life #3: Sean falls off a bed and hits his head; (See above story). (Socialite Life)

Life #4: Sean is subjected to neck injury, improperly placed in his baby car seat; (See above picture.)

Life #5: Sean is exposed to the heat of the Sun, strapped in the back of a convertible. (Ibid.)

Hmm, forget my former estimate, the little kiddo is down to 4 lives, and I'm not counting the fact that his baby car seat was facing the wrong direction. (Maybe you were hoping the baby would fly out of the backseat entirely, which would account for your driving with the roof down ... you wench!)

Still, even I -- The Great Beast 666 (aka The Wickedest Man in the World ®) have had the good sense to merely stick it to such low-level life forces as frogs, cats and goats! To be outdone in evil by a Qabalah reject is nothing more than a cruel taunt to a man past his prime. In my day, I would have made you pay ... biyotch.

All the very Beast,
Aleister Crowley

Do What Thou Wilt Shall Be The Whole of the Law

93, 93/93

Care Fraters et Sorores,

So ... at long last I've finally decided to try my aged hand at this modern version of confession you Aeonic youngsters call, "Blogging". Of course, I consider myself to be a past-master at this type of thing after practically reinventing it over a century ago. I remember how long it took me to take the material from my Autohagiography and arrange it into some kind of recognizable order. (No wonder I wound up calling it The Hag!)

As you may remember, St. Augustine also possessed a similar proclivity for parading his spirit about in its birthday suit, as it were. Obviously, great minds think alike. Saint Auggie was another previous incarnation of mine, which I hesitated to admit earlier (the reason being that I was a bit worried how such an alarming revelation would shock my little flock of wayward goats. Now I recognize my folly, as I'm certain my followers would have enjoyed my lascivious behavior all the more, in light of my previous sanctity!)

Anyway, onward and downward, in a blissful, infinite spiral my friends in spirit. As this is my first post, I am taking the opportunity to give you all a bit of a preview as to what to expect in my hopefully, soon-to-be, much trampled-upon corner of the blogosphere.

The Purpose and Function of My New Blog
1) Consider yourself warned: I have taken it upon myself to comment upon the ever increasingly ridiculous foibles of the denizens of modern-day society, and the necessarily ensuing hilarity which is soon to follow. Each day, as my addictions permit, I shall try to carve out a niche of time to cast my feral eye upon such events as please, amuse or merely disgust me -- just for the Hell of it, as they say.

I shall leave no stone unturned in my quest for easy prey; be it the allure of the always beguiling desperate housewife, to the newest discoveries of science, criticisms and diatribes, including the answers to such critical questions deemed most important to society in order to advance the evolution of our human species as a whole; such as, "Is it true that Ashlee Simpson has recently undergone a rhinoplastic surgical procedure?" (Suffice it to say a recent Geomantic Working has verified this general public suspicion to my satisfaction, so yes, she has done the deed!)

Other intriguing Universal questions that demand enlightened answers might include such Socratic brain-busters as, "... Is a certain, high-flying cult member truly responsible for impregnating a popular young actress with the starseed of an intergalactic alien god?" (And to think L. Ron called me crazy when I first told him about LAM! Then, the rapscallion swiped my whole cult-du-jour right from under my nose! Bahlasti! Ompedha!) Anyway ... moving right along ...

I am forced to admit there is a certain frivolousness to my blogging venture. Therefore, I will endeavor to occasionally peruse and pontificate over more worthwhile subjects such as Brad Pitt's phallus repeatedly plunging into the Vesica Piscis of everybody's favorite Scarlet Woman, the magnificient Angelina Jolie. Tell me, who could ask for more?

2) The other, more practical and helpful purpose for which I hope to utilize this blog is to offer free advice on all manner of human dilemmas. From matters of sex (of which I am known to be a connoisseur), to love (of which I know a good bit as well), to helping my readers make some of life's most difficult decisions, such as where to hide the evidence ... all such tidbits will be offered in good cheer, and in the spirit of aiding all men, women and children toward the fulfillment of their True Wills. Yea! Their True Wills.

How To Benefit From This Blog
Feel free to send your questions to me, Aleister Crowley, via the comments function. You mail also e-mail me directly (please write "WWCD?" in the subject line, so I will know you have a question for which you require an answer.)

As I have professed, I am a bit new to the best procedure as of yet so bear with me. You may feel free to leave a comment as well. And a final word for those who think this blog is a joke, may I add that it is possible, but I hope it will at least be a Cosmic One.

Now I must be off, although there are those of you out there who have always considered me to be a bit off to begin with. Until next time!

Love is the Law, Love under Will!

All the very Beast!
Aleister Crowley